Brave New World

 What's the most beautiful word in the English language?

 I think, that word, is ‘equal’. In fact, I love the way Merriam Webster dictionary defines this word. ‘Equal’ means like, in quality, nature and number. ‘Equal’ means like, for each member of a group, class or society. ‘Equal’, means regarding or affecting all objects in the same way. ‘Equal’, means capable of meeting the requirements of a situation or task. Why is it then, in our ever-changing patriarchal world, we have forgotten its true meaning? 

How many times have you heard people say, 'be a man' or 'don't cry like a girl' or the ever-favorite pep talk ' man up'? How many times have you seen people call girls as 'tomboys'? How many times have you seen men and boys appear cold and heartless because they're too 'manly' to open up about their feelings? All of these stereotypes have been created from time immemorial. As we proceed into the 21st century, the time has come to reflect on our actions and how we affect the people around us, and society, in general. It's time to accept the fact, that gender equality, is not a 'woman issue', but a 'human issue'. 

We’ve spent quite a lot of centuries determining how we, men and women are different. Well, it's true. We are different. We were created differently. We have different roles, different duties. We were created not to compete with, but to complement each other. To understand this, the difference between gender identity, and gender role must be made crystal clear. Gender identity, is the one we were born with, the one that determines our biological structure and function. The one that identifies us as male or female. Gender role, however, is its psychosocial aspect which we choose to take on in our lives. For example, a woman might be interested in becoming a firefighter or might want to live independently. Or, a man may be a dancer, or a homemaker who stays at home to take care of the children while his wife works. Or a woman might want to get married, and become a homemaker. There is no right or wrong in this scenario. There can never be. Gender equality is about giving women and men a choice, so that they can choose whichever way they may want to go. It is about giving them the freedom to make these choices, on their own. We have seen the problems faced by women, and there is a lot going on about women empowerment. Things are changing, slowly. But we must not forget, that there are always two sides of the coin. Along with empowering women, shouldn't we also empower men? In our patriarchal world it's not easily seen, but men are suffering too. They have become so used to putting on a mask, a façade, a bravado, that they don’t feel comfortable with expressing their feelings or crying in fear of being called a 'girl'. This, has to change. We have to understand, that experiencing feelings, having breakdowns, crying, is not what makes us a woman, it's what makes us human. In the words of UN Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson, " Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive, both men and women should feel free to be strong. It's time we all see gender as a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals".

Well, the question is, how do we change this?

 I'm just going to say one line from a famous song in response. " I'm starting with the man (or woman) in the mirror".

Start with yourself. Love yourself. Embrace your flaws. Take pride in your achievements. Treat other people the way you would want to be treated. Appreciate the people who make time for you. Give respect to whoever you have the pleasure to meet.

 However, we must take one more factor into consideration. In order to achieve gender equality, we also must achieve generation equality. We are the future of this planet. This starts with us. We must establish a society where the word gender doesn't exist. Voice, has no gender. Human rights, have no gender. Emotions, have no gender. Education, of both girls and boys is the primary force driving this mission. 'Involve me, and I learn' stands true. We must involve girls and boys to speak up, talk about their thoughts and their views and stand up for each other. Both need each other's support. He for She and She for He. If we aspire to live in a society free of expectations, we must also have the courage to create it. 

We women, as a whole have to stand up for our rights. We have to be aware of how society works. If we do not sit in the driving seat of our lives and take charge, someone else will, and we may not like where we go, in that journey.

 To be very honest, I'm just seventeen years old with no experience. I also know for a fact that I never had to face the downside of gender inequality. But, as a part of the future, I want to make a change. I believe that when both women and men make small changes from their sides, gender equality will finally see a bend in the road, a good one. The key, is spreading awareness. Things are changing, sure, but to achieve the ultimate goal, and reach more people, we have to do everything we can. 

 My parents and my grandparents taught me to be strong. They raised me as their 'son' as some people put it. Sure, people raise their daughters like their sons, but how many of us have the courage to raise our sons like daughters? So, if you are reading this, tell your daughters, sisters, friends, wives, mothers and grandmothers, that they are a force to be reckoned with, stronger that the strongest wave. And also, tell your sons, brothers, friends, husbands, fathers and grandfathers…" it's okay to cry sometimes".  Tell them, to respect existence, or expect resistance.

  For thirteen years of my life, I went to an all-girls school. We were taught to become smart and independent women, who don’t hide in the face of an adversity, who never back down from any challenge. My education really shaped my thinking and the way I saw the world. Not as a land divided into parts, but as a unified whole. It made me believe, that I am no less than any boy and that I deserve everything that I work for, and believe in. Every year, on International Women's Day, we used to sing a hymn during the morning assembly. I never really gave it a second thought, or ever tried to understand the meaning behind it, but I cannot think of a more perfect way to end this presentation of my thoughts.

I'm only human, I'm just a woman,

Help me believe, in what I could be, and all that I am.

Show me the stairway, I have to climb!

Lord, for my sake, teach me to take,

One day at a time.

Do you remember, when you walked among men?

Jesus, you know, when you're looking below,

It's worse now than then

Cheating and stealing, violence and crimes!

Lord for my sake, teach me to take,

One day at a time.

One day at a time, sweet Jesus!

That’s all I'm asking from you.

Give me the strength to do everything 

That I have to do

Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus,

And tomorrow may never be mine.

Help me today, show me the way,

 One day at a time

One day at a time.

Yes, we must take it one day at a time, and have faith, that things will change, for both men and women.

 Because, when you put together mutual respect, freedom of choice, and a society run by merit, achievements and character, what do you get?

A brave new world!

                                             By Nupur Bapaye